Inkling: Carousel

Hold me.

Did he just tell me he wanted me to hold him? Or did he order me to hold him? Is this his way of making me feel needed? Or is this him undermining my person. Is this him making me his scapegoat again? Or does he actually want to feel my arms around him? Impossible. After everything that had happened over the summer, he wouldn’t want me in the same room, let alone hold him. But he said those words. Does he still love me? Or is this the beginning of another one of his manipulative ploys? Am I going be one of his toys again? If so, do I even care? Would I mind? Of course I would. I should mind. But I don’t.

Hold me.

His eyes lie. I know that now. But I couldn’t help but look into them and be lead to believe he actually cares. He wants me to hold him. Does he?

If I hold him, would I be giving in? Is that going to be me being the slut that I usually am? Will it mean im stupid? Will it mean he won? But if I don’t, would I regret it? Will I be that guy who would show his picture to my friends and say “he’s the one who got away”?

Hold me.

And I do. And it all starts again from here.