Wednesday, March 27, 2013

Ink Drips: Rationalizing Break-ups


(not based on real events but based on the emotions of the writer at his moment)


He took his strides as deliberately as the way his hair fell on his cheeks. His hair on his cheeks – another one of the things Mark wanted him to change. He mused at his own reflection on the black Mazda parked outside his favourite tea shop. He knew he wasn’t perfect, but he always thought he was good-looking, regardless. But Mark kept on pointing out things he wanted him to change.
He pushed his face closer to the tinted car window, trying to get a better view of his nose – the nose that Mark never really liked, he recalled. Slowly he saw a face materialize besides his. He made a quick twist to look at who it was but the fates had never been kind to him and that moment they were the cruellest. Let’s just say everything was resolved with a bloodied nose, apologies served and numbers exchanged with a guy who owned a black Mazda, who liked milk tea, who didn’t mind his nose, who didn’t want his hair cut, who thought he was cute as hell and who felt like a guy like him shouldn’t be let alone bumping other guys and giving them a good bruising.
He was never the type of guy who cheated on the boy he dated. Justin wasn’t that person. He was loving. He tried to understand every single thing Mark did. He loved Mark. But lately, the boy he fell inlove with more than a year ago, was changing. But these he still understood. The changes, he intellectualized. He analyzed ever little detail of change as just him going through a phase. He was in love. And love, usually blinds you.
He still liked tea though, so every day since that moment with black Mazda guy, he would go to the tea shop, and casually wait for him to come around. The guy never did though. But that moment helped him realize so many things about his self – about how he felt about himself.
He wasn’t inlove anymore. And he knew he shouldn’t be made to stay in a relationship with someone he didn’t love enough. So it ended. It ended with  a phone call and a lame excuse for a breakup. It wasn’t Justin’s fault. It was no ones, but he still blamed himself. He still had the guy’s number, but he never called him. As for the sad Mark, he carried on and found love elsewhere. Mark found love even before Justin.
Justin new he made a mistake. But it was one of those mistakes that you never really regret. He was in love. And it is always better to love and lost and not to have loved at all.
You see, this isn’t a story of broken hearts. This is a story of winning – of break-ups and of choices, good ones.

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